Ride Lugged

Questions of personal identity cannot be answered, nor broadcast by having or riding a certain style of bicycle. Imagine young Johnny, alone in his parents house in a suburban location of your choosing, spending hours on his broadband connection reading, reading, reading, he finds Bike Forums, and jumps into threads posted there about the whackness of aluminum bikes, and why Keirin bikes are so much kewler than Italians. He constantly visits his local bike shop to talk tech and gear with the guys there, his mailbox fills with catalogs that he reads like magazines; how many colors does this come in? How much does it weigh? Sizes? What is the raddest pair of [bike parts] I can get? What does Trackstar say? Do they have it at King Kog? All these questions are in his head. What our imaginary protagonist is doing is designing his identity through a bike. When summer comes and he’s mowed enough lawns, he’ll eventually piece together his dream bike, and when he rides it he won’t just be riding a nice bike, in his mind he’ll be riding his own essence made into bike.

This is not a phenomenon only for bikes, it’s also very obviously for clothes, cars, houses, beer, and more. Anyone that produces a consumer product will tell you that the center of the all-important “branding” is getting a product to have a definition. Rich guys have Litespeeds, hip kids ride Surly, etc. One thing that obnoxes me to no end is the bike enthusiasts need to “comment” on strangers bikes. While in general people are complimentary of my trusty steed (espec. with sparks can where the water is supposed to go), every time this happens to me I want to yell out, “It’s not about the bike” man! This kind of peacocking, of “cocking” (mine is bigger (faster, shinier, with more street cred) than yours) is the last thing any really cool person wants to do. It’s the calling card of a buster.

That I use a cykel for my primary means of transport is part of my identity, that it keeps me (reasonably?) fit is part of my identity, that I occasionally ride competitively is part of my identity, the color of my rims and the gear ratios that I use are not. A deeply cool thing, does not a deeply cool person make.

This Is Modern Man