Ride Lugged

My TA assignment this semester to grade papers and artwork for an online art appreciation course. Here are some selected quotes from essay submissions. Some make me laugh. Some make me cry. All make me wonder about who will be in charge of our future fate.

“I could spend all night buggedly altering and tweaking proportions, effects, and boundaries to my fixation’s liking.”

buggedly?

“My artful knacks are not the noble of them.”

Has a certain ring.

“Laughs a lot, loves to play, and smiles constantly; three short descriptions of ME!”

I know exactly what you look like.

“I like so many things. Where do I begin? I like butterflies, the color purple, puppies, flowers, red toe nail polish, New York City, my parents and pets, my friends and extended family, traveling, speaking French, and so much more I can’t think of right now. Things I am interested are so varied.”

Thats a real gem, one of my personal favorites. Who doesnt like purple puppies with butterfly wings? I mean, really. Not surprizingly, this is from the same author as the previous quote.

“I was chosen for this program because I excelled in every subject area including: mathematics, science, writing, art, and music; I even graded papers for the teacher in some subjects.”

no joke, she is talking about elementary school here.

“All in all, I am a pretty laid person.”

smooth.

“Oh yeah, I’m white…did I mention that?”

in reference to the fact that he raps. I bet its heavy hitting politio-social stuff.

“One of my goals in life is to have a successful career in a company that is seen as being the top in my field, like a Wal-Mart.”

is it wrong for me to hate on this guy even though i’ve never met him? no.

“Lastly, internship is a word with a lot of symbol behind it.”

I think these sentances are proofread by a seeing eye dog.

“I believe that having no negative space would implement that my life is cluttered and overbearing and this is just not the case. ”

have there been language developments that I have not been privy to?

“I use the internet more often than I use the bathroom, partly because of interest and partly because of necessity.”

Fuck, did he need to go there? This is the same guy that’s the white rapper.

“To me there is nothing more exhilarating than knowing that there is 1200 pounds of pure muscle beneath you,”

slightly out of context, but still distrubing.
furthermore:

“I found my true passion in the form of a gangly Appaloosa horse.”

gross. she goes on to say:

“many days I would dismount in tears of frustration and find myself questioning not only my ability but my willpower”

graphic.

“Slowly a transformation took place, and the animal that had once angered me to no end was bringing me countless hours of joy”

really graphic

Ok that wraps up this weeks installment of schlockery. Stay tuned next week for more from the greatest minds of PSU.