Ride Lugged

was that disingenous? 07 xtr furthers my idea that there has been a secret honda junior designer take over at shimano’s design department. first we had 05 xtr cranks with their spider that made no practical sense (how stiff does a chainring need to be? i’ve never felt mine lacking), then we had shimano saint, which looked like a George Lucas designed Chubaka friendly sex toy/clubbing device/gray anodized shoe box. I really liked this group cause it addressed the needs of a large group of riders, namely a group of riders that has done a lot to promote the positive public understanding and acceptance of mountain bikers.

We then had hone, cause the kids who throw themselves off cliffs on freeride bikes cant afford 300 dollar gray shoeboxes for cranks. Which is a shame cause even kids that throw themselves off cliffs deserve to have a q factor wider than the nile delta. (please pay particular attention to figure two in that link, although the whole article bears reading)

recently, shimano has gone away from its perfectly servicable and normal looking octalink bottom bracket, which i didnt like cause it wasnt square taper, and therefor was propietary, and because the bearings were slightly smaller than carbon nano tubes, but at least i couldnt see that it was a retarded system. The external bb system came about because of three things: shimano likes to make old stuff obsolete as soon as they introduce it, which is alot like invading iraq but not providing any supplies for the soldiers past their first year. Secondly, there is a bogus idea that things like cranks need to be stiffer than they already are, a concept usually addressed like this verbage, stolen directly from shimano’s web site: the new XTR ninefifty something is 2 million times stiffer than its nearest counterpart, the 06 ninefifty something else XTR crank. What they dont tell you is that the only reason its 200 million times stiffer is because its heavier, uglier, cost less to make, uses lower tolerances, has a q factor slightly higher than the cost of a mars explorer, and still has shitty bearings, even though they are no longer nano tube sized but softball sized. The external bb system is like bolting a tumor onto your bikes bb shell. The car equivalent are those huge shopping cart spoilers that some people use to keep rear wheel traction when they are pealing out of a stop light with their front wheel drive cars. The human equivalent would be injecting your ass with a rejected NBA basketball.

I also dont want to see through anyones bb, no matter what secrets may lay on the other side. how long will it be till these holes are lit up to the draw attention of the savvy buyer? When will hub axels become hollow and 200mm in diameter? The race towards unnessesary and impractical stiffness must be curbed before everyone who rides walks like a cowboy because their pedals are in two different states.

We see this trend in bike tubes, handlebars and stems, cranks, chainrings, rims, rear mechs, seat posts, saddles, and other stuff that i cant think of right now. I assume that chains flex, but no one addresses that. I mean, you can have the stiffest frame in the world with the most overbuilt monsterous chainrings and cranks, but your chain is holding you back man! I propose, nay demand! that we develop chains that have hollow forged shot peened side plates made out of a propietary steel blend, sealed bearings on each of the chain rollers, and anti flex servo wave things somewhere, to round out the marketing foolishness. I will not let my chain slow my sprints, confound my climbs, hamper my explosive singletrack abilities. I will not have my friend who cant afford this chain and the entirely new drivetrain it requires go one more day with his chain technology that has hindered cyclists for 100 years! He must buy into the hollow forged servo wave chain program, or perish in my ultra efficient super stiff dust.

Am i ranting?  What about 07 XTR you ask?  Well what about it?  we know all about it.  The brake levers look like alivio levers, only they cost more and have sealed bearings, so that when you upgrade your entire drivetrain cause if you didnt your buddies will disown you, it costs not twice as much but 5 times as much.  The cranks look like the spermatoza of the honda element.  The derailluers look like a parody of the sram x-o line, and the shifters look like rejected spaceships from wing commander, the movie.

So, I have this to say about the 07 XTR group: it has the same finish that shimano alivio and deore have, but costs hundreds more.  It has alot of stupid Xs on it.  Remember when ford thought that ovals would bring the design of the ford taurus into the 21st century?  and how it looked dated before it even hit the road?  The q factor is higher than most bmx cranks.  their pedals still are heavier, clog easier, cost more, and are harder to maintain than the base model time or crank brothers pedals.  The combination of shifter and brake lever still doesnt allow fine tuning of individualized mounting positions.  The hubs still arnt sealed.  The chain is still half the quality of a 16 dollar sram chain, and the cassettes twice the price for the same performance of a sram cassette.  Sram still wins the weight game too.  My paul rear mech buries them both though.  Sram also wins the fine tuneable front mech game.  Sram stuff comes in a reusable tin.  Shimano’s comes in a big poorly made box that cant be used until next year when you put your cranks in it and sell em on ebay because you are sick of walking like a german prostitute with the clap.

Did i drive home the q factor thing enough?  I didnt get into how shimano used to make nice silver parts, and didnt used to pretend that hollow forging exsisted (it doesnt), and didnt use to make stuff obsolete every 3rd month.  Shimano is the moral and aesthetic guide post for the general bike part buying public.  Its personal will is marketed as the general will, which Jean Jacques Rousseau would identify as a failing of the system.  The people arnt foolish, they dont naturally want stuff that is ugly and costly and inferior to what came before, but marketing is a powerful drug, and the people’s will can be swayed by constant brand innundation, and lack of choice posing as freedom.

Ok, commie civics lesson over.  for now.