Ride Lugged

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Little does cory know that this actually costs 1 dollar a link. buahahaha. Cory has a mountain bike, and supposedly he is getting a cross bike. What he doesnt have is a cory proof townie bike. As far as I can tell, cory likes bikes that almost look 100 percent rad, but have 5% or so built in wack factor, ie a disc brake on a really lite bike, or a shitty saddle cover on an otherwise fine looking road frame. Cory likes to do dumb shit, like drop off loading docks when he is drunk, or ride up berms on a fixie, ect. He broke some AM classic road racing wheels within weeks of owning them, by riding them very off road. I have ridden and even owned a cory townie bike, the brakes didnt work the frame was covered in rust, ect. What follows is my interpretation of what cory would like to have in a townie bike (a challenging yet enjoyable ride, the ability to take it off road, on half centuries, ect, the ability to do no maintenace for 3 years and still have the pedals turn, wheels that dont break, a big basket for beer, and a rear rack for whatever, almost super classy asethics, ect ect)

Here we go-

Frame and Fork- This is hard. Cory is by turns super picky/doesnt give a fuck. I am going to say 650 B-able frame set: Big tires roll fastish, but are fat enough to provide cush without the weight of a 29er. Also, quirky. Thats a plus. I’m going with an Oswald: he does really clean work, his fork crown is hotter than hell, and he is a PA frame builder who doesnt use any powertools in his shop. Rad. This Lugset, with this crown. We’ll say dark grey with Creme lug lining, no logos, just headbadge, preferably cut from a piece of core-ten, so it progressivly stains the headtube. forward facing horizontal dropouts, campy style, with the mech hanger filed off, and an extra eyelet brazed on. $2200

Headset: Cory thinks that 1.125 inch headsets are the deal, for no real reason. I am gunna be a bitch, and give him an old school 1.25 threadless headset, mainly to get his goat. King made one, and we’ll find it on ebay. $140

Stem: Custom Oswald. Fillet Brazed with a bell mount on it. $120

Bars: Origin Dirt Drops. Not super elegant, but they seem to have a deeper drop and a longer reach than the on-ones. Modified as needed with wooden dowels. $60

Bar Tape: This is hard. What wears like Iron but doesnt feel like crap? I am going with japanese track grips, say, dark orange? $17

Levers: Ok, only one brake, but two levers. For comfort. The newish Paul fixie lever is pretty hot, but frankly not in a great place for decents. Cory likes all road levers it seems, but I think for this application a modolo lever set will work great. Strong, good modulation, ect ect. $65

Brake: Just a front brake, yo, cause the end result is a fixie. We’ll go with a strong one, some vintage Paul Stop Lites. Hard to find, but I know a place. $65

Front Rack: This is just a dream bike, so we’ll get our rack from ant, who only supplies them on bikes he makes. Wooden planks and a place for the U lock. Hot. $175

Rear Rack: Ant again. Cant pass it up. $175

Saddle: Cory hates brooks, for again, no good reason. He says they are heavy then rides a 32 lbs Ti monster. So we need something classy yet comfortable. WTB’s SST saddle was really nice, until they did away with it. Maybe we can find one in the bargain bin. We want the nice one without the stitching, and a full leather cover, of course. $10

Seat Post: Cory really likes Thompson, but for this application we are going to go with something a little more esoteric. Say a cook bros post with built in reflector. it adjusts with shims, which is super annoying to get dialed. Perfect. $120

Front Light: Schmitt e-6. its the best and most bomber there is. $109

Tail Light: B and M with stand lite. Dont get wacked again cory… $35

Front Hub: The Ultergra Level Dynamo Hub, 36 hole for durability sake. $90

Rear Hub: High Flange Paul Components hub, 36 hole, polished silver: bomber rear axel, big bearings, adjustable sealed bearings, ridiculous finish. $120

Spokes: Durability here is paramount, not weight. Cory loves to ride his wheels barely tensioned, with at least 5 spokes hanging more or less tensionless and bent. For this reason, XL 14s wont work. We need Wheelsmith’s DH 13/14/13 gauge spokes which you could shred logs and small childrens limbs with. $80

Rims: Cory is secretly french, so we’ll go with the bomb proof, double eyeleted, french made rigida 650b rims. 520 grams of touring style toughness. $100

Tires: Gran Bois Hetre Tires. Super spendy, very hot, 650b x 44, clay red with tan sidewalls. Sub 400 grams. Why? You’d be hard pressed to pinch flat a tire that fat, but its still very fast due to its minimal tread. Perfect for city biking, bike paths, touring, slowish centuries, and lets not forget the bling factor. $130

Fenders: Biggest Honjo’s made 650b/58mm. I feel like Honjos are less prone to rattle loose: SKS fenders have so much hardware that they seem to never stay adjusted, and when riding off road, the fender bounces around and wacks the tire. Not good. $80

Bottom Bracket: 113mm SKF, stainless spindle. SKF invented the sealed cartridge bearing, and they still make really nice ones. The only sealed cartridge in the MOMA. $80

Cranks: Syncros Revolution Cranks. Steel, (we’ll get them repainted to match the bike) canadian, rarish, strong as crap, and not too heavy. Ebay is a great place. $100ish

Pedals: Rivendell Grip Kings. Made by MKS, so you know they’ll last long. Perfect for riding barefoot. $50

Chain: Izumi super toughness. Its super tough, yo. $60

Cog: Euro Asia 18 tooth. Its retardedly spendy. Gotta mean something. $120

$4,111, not including pump, or any bags. Not too bad, again. The thing is, this bike wouldnt be just a townie. It would be a fun bike for almost any outing, outside of serious mtn biking, or really hilly touring. Again, if we went with say, a surly pacer frame, the price would become much more reasonable. $2300. It wouldnt suck, it just wouldnt be as rad. We could still use the 650B tires, with rivendell’s ultra long reach dual pivot caliper. I think if cory takes issue with anything it will be the square taper bb, the saddle, and maybe the 650b ness of it. Thats just a guess though. Whaddya say cory?

So this is where BMX went with the artistic cycling thing. The cross over is linked back to a guy named Pat Romano who’s family had done the artistic cycling thing for generations over in Europe. He rode a fixed gear BMX bike that ran something like a 24-20 gearing. He was in the movie RAD during the dance scene…if you remember that. This was all circa 1984 when he started showing up in magazines with things like axle pegs and doing stuff that noone had seen before. Alot of what you see from the fixie 700c tricks circa 1900’s is still very much at play in what is considered modern flatland. What started out as pogos with brakes has transformed into rolling brakeless using balance and momentum to keep the bike moving. As far as I know, Kevin Jones was the first person I ever saw who could ride a wheelie and then slip over the bars into a straddle over the headtube and keep the bike moving and only on the rear wheel. That is called the “Time Machine” if you spin in a circle like most artistic cyclists do. I could go on all day about the similarities between the two worlds of BMX and Artistic cycling…but here is a short video featuring one of my favorite flatlanders, Lee Musselwhite.