Ride Lugged

so the 24 hours of big bear is coming up. 2 months in which to lose 50 lbs, learn how to grind for 2 hour internals, and to make incredibly complicated lists and prepatory plans. last year i took a series of steps to make life more comfortable at the camp, including but not limited to: bringing a giant blue tarp that took the better part of a day to set up, and then took the rest of the day and night to maintain due to high winds, a hollow core door table with sawhorse legs, and huge wood clamps to clamp down the stove, paper towels, ect. it was the most planned trip yet. and it payed off, although it took over 2 days to fully set up. practical? schmactical. not tactical. wackticle? yes. wackticle. wackticle.

as you can see from my handy diagram, there is always a big mess, big waste of door/counter space, etc. this lead me to remember that thing called boy scouts, you know, where you light small trees on fire and stuff them into latrines, or maybe you remember it as your first introduction to smut. or perhaps you remember it as the time that you told the newbie to put his tent on the ant hill, or the low ground in a rain storm, or put logs under the scout master’s tent to improve his sleeping ergonomics. whatever your memories might be, one that almost all cool scouts share is the memory of the chuck box, which lesser troops called the patrol box. we were more democratic than that. now even though my troop, 443, thought that winning the klondike derby was simply a matter of stealing the other troops flags and burying them in the woods, we did know how to wield a power tool. or at least someone’s dad did. we had the nicest, heaviest, most tiger tank-esque chuck boxes this side of a d-day pill box. i think the guy who put them together adhered to the following rules: the box must contain as much plywood as possible. normal patrol boxes might take 1-1.25 sheets of plywood. our had at least 4 sheets, as well as all brass hardware taken from a clipper ship, and sized appropriately. our hinges alone weighed more than a coleman stove and 2 weeks of fuel.

the carpenter also thought that if 4 scouts were needed to carry a normal patrol box, and more is better, why not make it so that at least 8 scouts were needed, plus a sixteen scout relief crew. inevitably, our camp grounds were muddy or snowy, or perferably both, so footing was dubious at best, and scouts constantly fell and were tramped by the remaining 7. you couldnt stop, or the whip would fall! when camp was finally set up, there was the inevitable roll call, and the ‘where’s robbie?’ questions. well. we never found him. presumably the mud got him.

if it wasnt raining, sleeting, and or well below freezing, we werent camping. what were we doing? practicing knots. not! ohhhhhhhhhhh that was bad. mainly we watched robbie chew (true story) on the asbestos columns that supported the ceiling the squalid basement that was our troop headquarters. that was before the mud got him. then later, brandy johnson got him. but thats a different story, involving bad haircuts, knife fights, and assault rifle wake up calls.

right so, chuck boxes are fantastic.  instead of schelping  (spell check starmer?) 4 boxes of supplies, a table, saw horses, clamps, and so on, you can make a really heavy wooden box that has compartments to organize everything, and becomes a ’strong like bear’ table.  also, chuck boxes have room for the kitchen sink.  er the camp kitchen sink.  we always brought two tupperware bins for the dishes.  tight.  so i have been pining for a chuck box for a while now, not unlike how i sometimes pine for cheap gold colored bolos and scratchy polyester knee high socks.

i sat down, did some net research, poured a dram for my fallen scouts, and drew up some plans.  i happen to have a grade A- piece of maple plywood in the shed.  its appropriately heavy, although i’m sure i’ll have to add some ballast.

FYI, starmer has one that sounds appropriately huge and hard to use, but claims we dont have the man power to move it.  i suggested he crank out a few dozen kids in time for the race, or at least steal them from mexico.  his response is pending.