Ride Lugged

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By the light of the day the pimp’s yellow ochre suit is plain beige. The rotting wooden trailer out front is the same emerald green as the swing that sat under the willow tree for years after the willow had blown down in a windstorm, 15 feet from the porch where I slept, dead to the sound of the willow tree’s instant death. Now, 10 years later, a small willow grows from the base of the old tree’s trunk. The porch swing became art, the emerald green lending is patina to pieces about Abraham Lincoln and satellite radio. Memories are traded for cash and endorsed checks.

The porch furniture caught in the amber are invisible behind the dirty off white curtain, the illusion reserved for night rides only. The snake smell is just musty now, like a mouse dead in some remote corner of the house, reduced to powder and bones. There are no competitors out today, just the wind, heavy and high, pounding through every turn, making even the steepest downhills into high RPM chores. The splinter in my foot throbs on difficult climbs. The wrong foot placement could lead to a limp leg, as the pain shoots to the kneecap and saps it of structural strength. The lapis lazuli cascade has 3 kids playing in it, 2 teenage moms watch, bored. Not 6 years ago they were playing in that same stream. Now they just it watch it go by, the sparkling water holds no more interest than the latest congressional race, or the biker passing by, observing their life for 3 seconds at 27 mph.

I’m building miles slowly. Today I rode to school, and back, 6 miles total, and then my short local loop, 8 miles, then to the Giant, 3.5 miles, and then I’m heading back to school, 6 miles again, riding home in the dark at 11 or so. I’m eating a spoonful of ice cream a day, and loads of salad and grainy bits. I’m drinking lots of room temperature water, and extra fiber English muffins. My sweat has cooled to a dry powder on my forehead.

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A tale of two one point fives:

I have an idea, its not mine and I don’t remember who said it, but Sean’s recent comment brought it to mind again, and I’ll put the two thoughts together to make one newish thought.

I was always told to hold my handlebars loosely, like they were 1.5 times bigger than they actually are. This way, the bike and rider could react to bumps, and small directional changes, and still sort of auto–pilot its way through stuff. In other words, a loose grip actually meant more control, less wasted energy, and a more ‘ready for anything’ stance. I took this bit of wisdom and applied it. I loosesed up and found more control, less fatigue and more power for my legs, that otherwise would have gone to my hands and forearms. I could ride rigid and not be beat up. I could ride skinny tires off road. I could descend really nasty rocky stuff with crappy brakes and be ok. I ditched my fat oury grips and got big cheeze grips. They were smaller and harder, making it easier and more nessesary to loosen my grip. On my road bikes I switched from cork to cotton. Same deal. I can ride for dozens of miles and not experience numbness or a sketchy front end, because of how I hold my bars.

Instead of increasing headset diameter on road bikes (and don’t think its not coming to mtn bikes, or comfort bikes) why dont we re-teach this old chunk of wisdom. Let’s trade 1.5 inch headsets for theoretical 1.5x larger diameter handlebars. We could start by getting rid of all that gel tape nah nah, and foam pad hooo hoo and get people riding cinelli tape, or medium density stella or (gasp) cloth.

This would also expose undersized bikes, and poor riding positions. Lots of gel and saddle cut-outs do wonders for hiding bad bike fit. Its a win win situation. Really.

i was talking to a local rider and friend, and fellow penn state art program guy eric roman the other day. yesterday actually. and we were sitting at the table cory designed, and talking about people we knew, and found that we both knew a number of philly folks, and meg, so there meg, eric says hey. he held up his fingers, pressed them together and said “the east coast scene is still this big”, or something like that. imagine a fellow 11 years older than me but 40 lbs lighter, who only rides a singlespeed, and still races in the pro class, and has lots of tattoos, and you sort of get an idea of what he looks like. we were looking at my witcomb (was meg’s) and it has the new sachs new success cranks on it, which are sharp looking by anyone’s gauge. he told me they were made by campy using record (or was it chorus) molds, and just branded sachs, which made them sort of under the radar cool. really though, they are the most polished thing on the bike, so they arnt that under the radar. this makes me wonder though: should i be using a campy taper bottom bracket, because i am not, and have logged at least 200 miles on them, and they seem fine, stiff smooth low Q, and silver. eric said: they arnt light but butter never is, or something like that but more clever and off the cuff.

all of those thoughts stem out of me sitting here, next to mel (well she got up for something, oh a shot of slivovice, which stinks like medice, thanks cory, medice from 1932, in its original bottle. she’s back now, and reading the newest reader, with her tea and shot of czech booze. and i am looking at those cranks, which, sharp looking as they are, manage to look clunky next to my lyotard Berthet pedals. made of stamped steel, these pedals are somehow bigger, more comfortable, curvy, and lighter than any quill pedal out there, and their hollow stamped windows and swoopy lines remind me of a late 1930s roadster more than any other pedal i can think of. they look like they were drawn using a set of french curves, by a designer who only looked at war time alfa romeros. only alfa romeros didnt look that swoopy when the berthet pedal was invented in 1923ish. they make the otherwise super elegant sachs cranks look like overkill, huge cold forged arms, fat low pro spider. of course even these look lighter and more svelt than new campy stuff. outboard bearings never did anything positive to a bike’s aesthetic, which, i like to think is at least partially why sean goes through all that trouble to hide them. those ridges on the outside of the bearing shells (for external bbs not the vertigo ones) are cool like those sun shade visor things you see on the back windows of 85 iroc-Zs and mustangs. FLASH: they are called sun louvers, which makes them even more lame sauce in clown town, to combine a sean-ism and dave-ism. FLASH: mel just turned off the celtic music. thank god.

I recently picked up a cycling magazine that wasnt the reader, to prove that i keep up with the contemporary world madness of our times. in it found such treasure like 1.5 inch headsets for road bikes (ok they really didnt need to move beyond 1 inch, ok threadless if you are that guy, but 1.5 inch? functional advantages: now you and your bike can look like you dope. claimed advantages: stiffer front end for more positive cornering. now, i have to provide a disclaimer here: i’ve never ridden at 60+ down a huge mountain on a more or less perfectly smooth road on a course that has been precleared for obstacles. but i have descended down sketchy dirt roads at over 45 mph with a one inch threaded headset, a nitto stem with tons of quill showing, and 39cm wide bars that are over 40 years old, with centerpull brakes, and never once, not once, was i aware of, or concerned for front end deflection. and i am fatter than those racy dudes, and carry at least 10lbs in my handle bar bag. if anyone should feel it, it’s me. so it is at this point that i officially say: stop it. just stop it. stop it, please stop it. its gone beyond making me mad, it actually makes me tear up. i’m not planning on having kids, but this is the madness that future children will be born into. a culture that thinks of threaded steerers like you and i think about bushing chains: little if at all.

i was out riding today, just before dinner, a 12ish mile loop that takes me up some steep hills so i can get my singlespeed legs back on. i was riding my witcomb, traditional sized tubing, 1980s race geometry, 40cm bars, cloth tape, wheels that cory had on the second worst bike in the world, one speed. i was having an ok ride, not moving as fast as i was last night, when i saw the holy grail: two cyclists up ahead, roadies, climbing out of the saddle. catch them. that’s what to try to do. lately, my shape has been such that that would have been a pipe dream. but i sprinted, hard, and caught them, and blew past them, nicely, with a comment about the nasty headwind but the nice temps, and then tried to hold my lead. i had to beat them up the next climb (as soon as i passed them, they started after me, pride is a wonderful motivator) and down a series of steep, swooping descents, and then up a series of stepped climbs. I held my lead, my single speed being perfectly geared for out of the saddle mashing on this particular grade. i out descended them too, and perhaps by now they had given up. but no, right around the bend, there they were, sprinting out of the saddle on a flat. you don’t do that with gears unless you A. ‘ know how to ride or B. are trying to catch someone. Miraculously though, i had found the spin zone, and just sat and spun my tits off, as they say. held the lead for 6 miles. then i broke. my stomach developed a cramp you could sell to the CIA for interrogation purposes. my legs turned to mush. i almost fell off the bike from the cramp it was so bad. it was like getting shot with a .22 at close range but without the click bang. it was like having a guy inside of you crash his 4 inch buick lesabre into your colon. it hurt. i wobbled on my bike. i paid for my lead. i came home and did unspeakable things to the bathroom. i’m getting ready to race.

for all you lazy sods who didnt make it, (everyone) here are some pics from my recent thesis show. you know, you could make up for it by buying something.

visualization of the dirt road database: different colors of lichen (for different road surfaces) is flocked to screen captures of google maps data. you are looking into a plexi box.

impossible to shoot the entire show in one wack.  here, left to right, we see the edge of the models, the log, the photos, the huge mylar drawing (75 feet by 2 feet), the dirt data, more photos, the top of the E, and a piece i hatched on the spot that was a full scale realization of one of the models.  there is anouther wall of models with a lichen drawing, and a huge wall of drawings too.  

this was originally a video, but the messy artifact is sexier

the wodr table, cory’s design.  soon to be a dinning room table

a series of models and macro photos dealing with actions within the landscape.  the wall drawing is flocked lichen again.

who’s buyin’?

Uh

Transportation: Ride the Bitchcruiser Bike, But Wear Protection (NSFW)

Just got back from London, where the above clip was shot in front of the robot rider in the “World’s Best Bike Department” at the famous Harrod’s department store in Knightsbridge. The audio is kinda muted. Basically I’m saying that the robot on the suburbo-cruiser is the best thing about the “bike department” that otherwise contains two of the stupid ass “ferrari bikes” and a few acres of designer spandex (read: prada sport polyester t-shirt: $400).

The hotel I stayed at (paid by school (!)) was next to the other famous department store, Selfridges, which also had a very half-assed bike section, albeit with a few decent fixed gear jim-jams from Wilier. Not sure why giant fashion stores in London think bikes should be part of their offering, not to get too business-schooly on you guys, but fancy suits and cycles aren’t exactly part of the same core competence.

so i was walking to the post office today, (on a dirt road) and was lamenting the fact that with all of the crazy mapping software out there, GIS, google maps, USGS, etc, there isnt a good way to tell if A. your route will work (is that someones driveway?) and B. what the road surface is.  The closest we get is USGS, which tells us if something is unimproved or not.  Well that could mean anywhere from paved and not maintained, to cow path thru a field.  Not very exact, and consequently, not very helpful.  What if there was not only a route mapping site that allowed users to tag roads according to surface, but also made notes of where there were potable springs, country stores with ice cream sandwiches, and included tagged pictures of overlooks, vistas, sites of note, ect.  Wouldnt that be great?  Users could search by town, state or county and get a list of user generated tags, ride info, and visual information.

Of course, this would involve server space, and alot of work on not only the web interface but also general usability.  How would roads be tagged?  Could we color code them?  Thats my choice.  Roads could even be rated, for traffic, passability, (if its a dirt cow track, maybe 23s arent a good choice) and general pleasantness.  Key features would include elevation output ala route slip, editablity ala the new google maps, terrain maps ala google, satelite imagery, and an easy to use east to print cue sheet like routeslip.

I bet it would cost a bundle to make, and to maintain.  I’m guessing that part of this cost could be offset by getting appropriate advertisers, rivendell, velo orange, ect.  I think the data compilation would be interesting.  We could have content submitted through a blog, directly onto the website, by mail.  It would be an interesting compendium of others rides, thoughts, and interests.  I have started a blog to promote the discussion of this idea, although I guess all discussion could take place right here too.  It just seems easier to move it to another forum.  For now, users could create ‘dirt specific’  routes in routeslip or bikely,or even gmaps, and link them to the blog.  We can start a database without any real work.  It wouldnt be as convient or easy, but it might get cogs turning.

Definition of acceptable road surfaces:  hard packed dirt, wide paths, bike paths, hardpacked gravel, well maintained fireroads, old wagon roads, logging roads that are passable, chip roads.  Each needs its own tag, or maybe it can be narrowed down: dirt, gravel/chip, fireroad/logging road.  Personal favorite: dirt.

Update: no blog yet, wordpress is down.  Perspective name: dirtroaddatabase.wordpress.com, or if availible: drd.wordpress.com

whaddaya guys think?

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Little does cory know that this actually costs 1 dollar a link. buahahaha. Cory has a mountain bike, and supposedly he is getting a cross bike. What he doesnt have is a cory proof townie bike. As far as I can tell, cory likes bikes that almost look 100 percent rad, but have 5% or so built in wack factor, ie a disc brake on a really lite bike, or a shitty saddle cover on an otherwise fine looking road frame. Cory likes to do dumb shit, like drop off loading docks when he is drunk, or ride up berms on a fixie, ect. He broke some AM classic road racing wheels within weeks of owning them, by riding them very off road. I have ridden and even owned a cory townie bike, the brakes didnt work the frame was covered in rust, ect. What follows is my interpretation of what cory would like to have in a townie bike (a challenging yet enjoyable ride, the ability to take it off road, on half centuries, ect, the ability to do no maintenace for 3 years and still have the pedals turn, wheels that dont break, a big basket for beer, and a rear rack for whatever, almost super classy asethics, ect ect)

Here we go-

Frame and Fork- This is hard. Cory is by turns super picky/doesnt give a fuck. I am going to say 650 B-able frame set: Big tires roll fastish, but are fat enough to provide cush without the weight of a 29er. Also, quirky. Thats a plus. I’m going with an Oswald: he does really clean work, his fork crown is hotter than hell, and he is a PA frame builder who doesnt use any powertools in his shop. Rad. This Lugset, with this crown. We’ll say dark grey with Creme lug lining, no logos, just headbadge, preferably cut from a piece of core-ten, so it progressivly stains the headtube. forward facing horizontal dropouts, campy style, with the mech hanger filed off, and an extra eyelet brazed on. $2200

Headset: Cory thinks that 1.125 inch headsets are the deal, for no real reason. I am gunna be a bitch, and give him an old school 1.25 threadless headset, mainly to get his goat. King made one, and we’ll find it on ebay. $140

Stem: Custom Oswald. Fillet Brazed with a bell mount on it. $120

Bars: Origin Dirt Drops. Not super elegant, but they seem to have a deeper drop and a longer reach than the on-ones. Modified as needed with wooden dowels. $60

Bar Tape: This is hard. What wears like Iron but doesnt feel like crap? I am going with japanese track grips, say, dark orange? $17

Levers: Ok, only one brake, but two levers. For comfort. The newish Paul fixie lever is pretty hot, but frankly not in a great place for decents. Cory likes all road levers it seems, but I think for this application a modolo lever set will work great. Strong, good modulation, ect ect. $65

Brake: Just a front brake, yo, cause the end result is a fixie. We’ll go with a strong one, some vintage Paul Stop Lites. Hard to find, but I know a place. $65

Front Rack: This is just a dream bike, so we’ll get our rack from ant, who only supplies them on bikes he makes. Wooden planks and a place for the U lock. Hot. $175

Rear Rack: Ant again. Cant pass it up. $175

Saddle: Cory hates brooks, for again, no good reason. He says they are heavy then rides a 32 lbs Ti monster. So we need something classy yet comfortable. WTB’s SST saddle was really nice, until they did away with it. Maybe we can find one in the bargain bin. We want the nice one without the stitching, and a full leather cover, of course. $10

Seat Post: Cory really likes Thompson, but for this application we are going to go with something a little more esoteric. Say a cook bros post with built in reflector. it adjusts with shims, which is super annoying to get dialed. Perfect. $120

Front Light: Schmitt e-6. its the best and most bomber there is. $109

Tail Light: B and M with stand lite. Dont get wacked again cory… $35

Front Hub: The Ultergra Level Dynamo Hub, 36 hole for durability sake. $90

Rear Hub: High Flange Paul Components hub, 36 hole, polished silver: bomber rear axel, big bearings, adjustable sealed bearings, ridiculous finish. $120

Spokes: Durability here is paramount, not weight. Cory loves to ride his wheels barely tensioned, with at least 5 spokes hanging more or less tensionless and bent. For this reason, XL 14s wont work. We need Wheelsmith’s DH 13/14/13 gauge spokes which you could shred logs and small childrens limbs with. $80

Rims: Cory is secretly french, so we’ll go with the bomb proof, double eyeleted, french made rigida 650b rims. 520 grams of touring style toughness. $100

Tires: Gran Bois Hetre Tires. Super spendy, very hot, 650b x 44, clay red with tan sidewalls. Sub 400 grams. Why? You’d be hard pressed to pinch flat a tire that fat, but its still very fast due to its minimal tread. Perfect for city biking, bike paths, touring, slowish centuries, and lets not forget the bling factor. $130

Fenders: Biggest Honjo’s made 650b/58mm. I feel like Honjos are less prone to rattle loose: SKS fenders have so much hardware that they seem to never stay adjusted, and when riding off road, the fender bounces around and wacks the tire. Not good. $80

Bottom Bracket: 113mm SKF, stainless spindle. SKF invented the sealed cartridge bearing, and they still make really nice ones. The only sealed cartridge in the MOMA. $80

Cranks: Syncros Revolution Cranks. Steel, (we’ll get them repainted to match the bike) canadian, rarish, strong as crap, and not too heavy. Ebay is a great place. $100ish

Pedals: Rivendell Grip Kings. Made by MKS, so you know they’ll last long. Perfect for riding barefoot. $50

Chain: Izumi super toughness. Its super tough, yo. $60

Cog: Euro Asia 18 tooth. Its retardedly spendy. Gotta mean something. $120

$4,111, not including pump, or any bags. Not too bad, again. The thing is, this bike wouldnt be just a townie. It would be a fun bike for almost any outing, outside of serious mtn biking, or really hilly touring. Again, if we went with say, a surly pacer frame, the price would become much more reasonable. $2300. It wouldnt suck, it just wouldnt be as rad. We could still use the 650B tires, with rivendell’s ultra long reach dual pivot caliper. I think if cory takes issue with anything it will be the square taper bb, the saddle, and maybe the 650b ness of it. Thats just a guess though. Whaddya say cory?

so here is my super quick guide to bike lighting, not really for you to read now, but more so you can ref it later, when i link to it and yeah.

our rambles end in the dark or the dusk, as a rule. people dont believe me when i say a ride is going to last 7 hours, even if it is only a 45 mile ride. you see, we eat, pant, bitch, get flats, warm up and freeze, and all that takes time. plus we are all slower than a potatoe growing spuds in a paper bag, so, we ride along at 6.2 mph, on average.

so: lighting. i think i am going to require it. because if anyone got smooshed on one of my rides i’d feel bad. and i’d have to scrape your brain up and put it in my sigg. and siggs are pricey.

next ride we do, you gotta have a head light and a tail light. one that you can actually see with. that means not a light that you cant see with. whats that mean? you need more than 1 watt o’ power, led or halogen. Also, tail lights. get a big bright one. those little watch battery ones dont crank out the jams.

what works? on the cheap and crappy end, those cateye halogen joints that eat batteries (the HL-MC200 is 2.4 watts and costs less than 20 bucks. get two?) on the high end of the led world, b and m’s new ixon light looks ugly, but is reportedly quite bright.  i have ridden with the cat eye el 50o, its better than most, but you need two to really see.  also, eats batteries.

up front, if you make, say 75000 dollars a year and have no constituents, and say, need a new front wheel, get a generator hub and halogen headlight.  super bright, on when you need it off when you dont.  90 for the hub, 40 for spokes, 30-90 for a rim, 30 for the headlight.

right.  so around back…  cat eye’s TL-LD1000 is retardedly bright, ask rob.  not that he uses one.  but his wife does.  cheaper but still good is the hasselhoff approved tl ld600.  its half the cost but bizarrely ugly and bulky.  which would explain why mark uses one.  planet bike also makes the ugly but brightest of the bright ’super flash’ supposedly the only tail light visible in the day time, and at night visi up to a mile.  30 bones to not get run over not bad…

if you do the generator thing, i can help, i’ve set up half a dozen different styles.  leave a comment and i’ll help you out.