What:  July 3rd Alley Kat

Where:  The bell tower in Baker Park, Frederick City MD.  Afterparty at Krugs Place, on east street.

When: 6:30 PM

How much?  8 dollars.

Prizes?  Hell yes.  Crappy Prizes?  only for the losers.

What to bring:  A cell phone, a blinky light, a messenger bag.

Last November’s Alley Cat brought people from DC, B-more and of course Frederick out to race around the streets of Frederick, doing log pulls, making up raps on the spot, getting porn clerk signatures, and betting on virtual horses at 7-11.  We have more mad ‘nanigans planned for this summer ‘kat, so head on out, bring your bling, and see what the back streets of Frederick are about.

Prizes for: Overall Winner, Mens.  Overall, Womens, Skid Comp, Track Stand Comp, and DFL.

Questions: ask in the comments, suckers.

departing from the house

jay, john, dan and yours very truly set off saturday evening for some stealth camping.  upon arrival, i noticed with some chagrin that my chosen stop was kinda close to the road, a fact that went unnoted last time, cause there were leaves on the trees.  this caused mild paranoia, but we set up shop, started a small fire, cooked some grub, grilled some sausages, drank some bourbon and beer, and settled in for a quiet night.

quiet night. so far...

then the rednecks showed up.

and rocked our world.

we heard trucks/drunken shouting/music.  a tiny headlamp started to bob its way thru the woods.  we dowsed the fire by jumping on it, and killed our headlamps.  still, they kept coming.  in retrospect, they were looking for a quiet place to fire up the bowl.  in the interest of not getting beat or shot, i called out: did you smell the bourbon?  and they came running.  eventually about 10 or 12 of them showed up, one bearing a 3 gallon container full of drunkade, aka cheap cheap vodka and some sort of mango orange gatorade.  there was a mythical cooler of beer that they had supposedly tried to start a fire with, but it being white styrofoam, it rejected their advances.

soon, the drunkade was consumed.  about… a gallon of it.  this, after we had had a bottle of wine, a half liter of bourbon, and a couple few beers.  then the captain morgans came out.  thank god it wasnt flavored.  then the cheap ass weed came out.  and so the night progressed to fire jumping, and the eventual dissolution of our fire wood.

world. rocked.

after much yelling and laughing and much much drinking, they departed, and we slept the sleep of the dead.

now.  who’s up for some bob evans?

the morning after.

all fotos from jay’s excellent photostream.

the what what:

frederick city alley cat, w/ checkpoints, contests, challenges, scavenger hunting, and rad urban cyclist prizes.

Where: meet at the big bell tower in baker park downtown frederick.  you know it.  MAP HERE
all the normal crap too: skid competion, track stand comp, rapping comp.

do we all know what an alley cat is?  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alleycat_races

the saturday after halloween, as in nov 7th.  meet at the baker park bell tower….

extra points for rad post halloween costumes.

other stuff:
bring a cell camera or a camera
a sharpie
tail light
beer bucks
messenger bag or basket
$6.66 entrance fee

The Happy Yum Yum Ride will start at 5 East 7th street, where you will indulge in coffee, tea, hot chocolate, peppermint schnapps, whiskey on the rocks, (AC/DC?) cocaine…we’re gunna roll outta here, like pedal to the metal, at like…. 9.30…that’s AM, slacker.  Um we’re gunna ride some, a little bit, go up some hills (not really.  Ed)  We’re gunna pass a cow maybe, probally a cow in a barn, cause it’s cold.  Maybe you need to wear your booties, maybe you don’t have any booties.  There is a secret stop.  We’re gunna eat like italians with the walkersvillians, we’re gunna eat like the walkersvillians like the italians with the walkersvillians.  Sorry.  (huh? Ed)  Uhm.  Then we’re gunna come back and that’s two yums. Yay!

Details: no dirt (mel said, and i quote: there will be a cough of dirt), sub 30 miles.  There is a spoke card that Mel handcrafted with sharpies.  You will get one.  She will sign it for 3 dollars.  Bring: something. (tasty. Ed)  For example: peppermint patties.  When?  Oh you want real details!  Well, there are some days availible: here they are.  Jan 25, Jan 18, um, Feb 1st.  Who is down?  When is who down?  Comment it up.

THIS IS NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR THE TINY ISLAND RIDE.  This is a different event.  The Tiny Island Joint is gunna roll later, but not much later.  Feb some time.

mmmm black sausage:

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so we had a super good turn out for the scramble.  dave got points for driving the furthest to get here.  phil got points for riding a bike that would give a cory townie a run for its money (crappynesswise).  way to many people showed up on fixed gears and kicked ass on them.  joe, jay, john (sort of) jason and phil were all punished the roads with their insanity.  there were, if i recall, 9 flats, 4 of which happened to Rob and two of which happened to Damien.  Is that right?  Or were there more?  We made it home before blinky lights were needed, but not by too much.

Dave took pictures, which he hasnt posted on Flickr yet, so did John (same thing) but Joe has some up here.

I hope everyone had as good of a time as I did, pain aside.  That said, I rode the next day and felt 90 percent OK.

I want to not feel OK next time.  I want to be groveling on the side of the road.  To that end, I propose a mega monster ride for october.  That gives you almost two months to lay off the sauce and ride a bunch.  We could split the ride over two days, but where’s the suffering in that proposal?

I’m thinking sort of an expanded dirty sugar ferry ride, to include much more dirt and plenty of more excuses to get flats.  there would be no singletrack, but just alot of farm roads and potholes.  120 miles.  It’s totally doable.  We’d have to start early, and we’d definately end after dark.

here’s a link to the proposed ride route.  

Go ahead and call me crazy.  There will mad amounts of dirt.  Or you will be mad about the amount of dirt.  Check it against the dirt road database.  There is more dirt than pavement, almost. I’d say at least 40 solid miles of dirt.  Let’s say October 26th for now.   Image from last year’s Ferry Ride here.

Maybe someone knows someone’s yard we can sleep in down that way.

so we need volunteers, and anyone who does so can get up to 50 dollars of parts at 15 percent over cost.  i think that’s a pretty good deal.   catch: you’ll have to give us money up front, cause we have none.  i mean, before we place the order.  not just in general.

we also need unique frederick city ideas of stuff to do at the check point.  rob and i have only JUST started to throw ideas around, and here are a few, some his, more mine, not because he hasnt thought about it, but because we only talked about it for a few minutes, and this is what i got.

-a ford (or small rickety boat) crossing of a nasty green part of carroll creek (away from all the noise and people and cops)

-a time trial around the dirt path at hood college

-having to purchase, and consume on camera, a tiny sample bottle of schnapps from the amber ghettos liquor store.

-something to do with boxing, at the place near giant eagle.  i dont know about this one

-something to do with a bowling alley, problly a white russian and a pinball score…

-bobbing for apples?

bonus points:  getting a romance novel out of the library

-getting a tiny tattoo

-renting porn from the porn shop.

we need ideas!  also a name!  also volunteers!  also word of mouth spreading!  also a date. i’m thinking second weekend in sept.

leave me you ideas!

anyway, they got ‘bought out’ by mapmyride and so we have to use that now.  which is actually a good thing.  it makes your cue sheet for you, has a decent road follower tool which allows you to delete big parts of mistakes at once, shows real time elevation, ect.  the cue sheet set up is particularly nice.  i tested its accuracy yesterday, and it was spot on, even giving the name and route number of a given road.  this feature is super good for country roads missing signs.  this feature makes it better than bikely and routeslip combined.  it also allows you to add tags like water or food and provide a description, like google my maps.  so i started an open group, for who ever, to add ridelugged minded routes.  the URL is http://www.mapmyride.com/community/groups/833088119056

you have to sign up to the site, which is free and easier than even getting an email account from a blind chinese fortune teller.

go sign up, make a route, join the club, go ride your bike.  yeah you, the one who should be training.  go ride.

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the dscwdibmssitilmslahcibbjf78hddr was originally slated to take place at 1pm in myersville.  rob pre-drove the course with mark, and they deemed it too hard.  ok.  i can handle criticism.  or can i?  buahahahahaha.  here is my proposed compromise, complied from a dirt roads index that joe whitehair gave me, and a ride profile that he conjoured up.  this ride is longer, but not harder, and has more dirty dirt and chip roads.  you could singlespeed it, easy.  the ride profile shows no climbs over 300 feet.  considering the length, it is really really really flat.  that said, some people might say, oh its long.  but its flat! thats a compromise.  there will be no death march climb, no hills for a walkin’.  there are also numberous bail out points, and a longish section that you could cut out and sit around waiting for everyone else to complete.

my opinion though, is because its longer, we should A. all bring lights, definately.  front and back.  fresh batteries.  check them before you ride.

B. bring toe warmers, ect.  thick socks.  you know the drill.  a weather proof jacket.  ear warmers.  good gloves.

C. we should probally leave corys at 12 not 1.  that way, we’ll get back right when its getting dark.  mark, be there at 11.  you dont read this though.

if there is major issues with this plan, i can tie off the dingle at the mid-point in the ride that gives about 18 extra miles and more dirt road, as well as a view of the potomac river.  i would rather not, but i would really rather have everyone come on this ride.

routeslip thing here.  

spoke card for the ride spoken of below.

you will be there.

nick, get your ticket. or hide in cory’s baggage.