trispeedoutlaw’s concept 36er tri-bag bike

Johnson — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:41:18 +0000

i thought this project would be impossible. i mean. how can a 36er have a short wheel base? it’s gotta have at least a 18 inch chain stays. that’s at least 4 more than a self respecting tri-bag (gotta be self cause who else respects them) would rock. tri-bags love short wheelbases, even though they have nothing to do with speed. i hear there is stuff called frame floss, to clean the gap between the tire and the seat tube. it’s made out of carbon of course. anyway, we all know that tri-bags like stupid things. if a frame design severly compromises handling, it has to be good: squirrely handling = fast. to this end, tri bags often employ two different wheelsizes, to gain maximum squirrelitude. thirdly, tri-bags, never having heard of bio-mechanical efficiency, only look at windtunnel data and skin suit colors. ergo, a seat post 6 inches higher than the bars is great. i took this to its logical conclusion for trispeedoutlaw’s bike. see diagram G. trispeed’s bike solves the annoying short chainstay conundrum by eliminating chainstays all together, and replacing them with two ultra aero down tubes. the seat post, long suspected to be the slowest part of the bike, is also eliminated, replaced with a top tube mast with integrated sit spot. tri riders are known for peeing on their bike, and trispeedoutlaw informed me over power colas and power nuggets that he was no exception. we addressed this particular problem by turning the top tube into a catheder, which convinently transports waste to the carbon aero headset (carbon is a good filter right?) and then to the suck station, where it is turned back into sticky power drink! after much cajoling, we talked zipp into laying up this hot custom rear 36er wheel, which has a drag coefficent of negative 15 modules. the tire is a custom dugast, made from andre dugast’s wife’s silk underwear and preaged unvolcanized Inca rubber. the cranks have been replaced by speedplays that are molded directly to the wheel, which in turn have white nike tri shoes glued directly to them, elimating both the weight of the cleat and that power robbing ‘float’. we hit a major snag when we realized we forgot about gears. then we remembered that every tri event is held in florida. the kind folks at cervelo made our wet dream a reality, and if this CAD rendering is anything to go by, trispeedoutlaw’s bike will be a ripping righteous ride. interested parties should contact me here: james@tribag.com remember: all of this tech doesnt come cheap: the 36er tri bike clocks in at 10,233.99 for the frameset, which includes the rear wheel and custom pedals. console yourself with the knowledge that you will have the worst handling fastest bike on the planet.

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trispeedoutlaw’s concept 36er tri-bag bike